"This S--t is getting old"

It would be so easy to pick up what everybody else is doing and go with it, but seldom does that make a person great. This goes with all things in life and teaching is no different. There’s a formula for lesson planning that I always criticized when growing up and it goes like this:

Here’s a book; read it + Here’s a worksheet; work it + Here’s a red pen; switch worksheets and grade it = Here’s your grade; eat it

Start over and repeat, over and over and over again.

The truth is we take a lot of pride in the lesson plans we develop even if some are experimental. It’s disappointing when they don’t go as planned, but it’s infuriating when they go unused. Sometimes there’s nothing we can do about, but in my case, even the gods were working against me.

As usual, a hearty chunk of my weekend spent analyzing, cross referencing, note taking, and planning a three day presentation of a modern parallel to Homer’s The Odyssey. Then the ice storm hit.

Monday. Canceled.

The first thing that comes to anyone’s mind is FREE TIME! There’s no free time when the gods work against you. Their unprovoked anger turned the whole town in to an ice age war zone! The worst part of any urban war, of course, is losing electricity as winter begins. Gods be damned! My power lines ran underground fully protected from their wrath! Except Satan’s wrath, naturally, but we had a deal.

I wasn’t about to waste a free Monday! That’s what the old me would have done – ran to the girlfriends and play video games or watch television all day. It was time to take care of all the responsibilities I stopped juggling.

To Do:
1. Walk the dog

She was getting fat. I wouldn’t call it animal cruelty, but she’s a high maintenance breed. Aren’t they all? Am I right, guys? You know I am! High five!

2. Laundry

I used to use my washing machine as a laundry hamper, but when you’re never home to do laundry, you have to improvise and use something larger like an extra bedroom.

3. Spend time with Mom

The ‘rents are slowly transitioning to Dallas because of my Dad’s big promotion but my Mom has to finish out the school season in Oklahoma City. I was literally stuck between the two. I’d be sadder that my mom was alone every night and I hadn’t seen her for weeks, but it helps that she takes the time to call me three times a day and make me feel guilty from a distance. Gotta’ love technology.

4. Make new friends with a coworker

There was only one other new teacher that was a male and I took advantage of that by taking him with me into the icy war zone. Besides, we were both bored of being stuck at home due to ice, hungry, and had shopping to do for family members and the department secret Santa party planned for the following day. The real adventure was finding any restaurant that still had electricity!
Then my phone rang.

[Incoming Call – Amy]
[Answer]
“Hey Angel”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking advantage of the school closing and getting a lot done today! How’s work?”

“I didn’t go today because I fell down and hurt myself.”

“Holy crap! What, where, when, and how? Can I bring you anything? Can I come visit?”

“No, no I’m on painkillers and really just want to rest…”

“Okay. Then maybe I stop by and visit later?”

“Yeah sure”

“Okay”

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5. Christmas shopping

Victoria Secret – about $200 but get your mind out of the gutter! They have sweaters, boots, and the likes too.
Bath and Body Works - $50 for lotions and bubble baths; I don’t “get it” but they’re her favorites, so….
Gordon’s Jewelers - $200 for a necklace and earrings, but they’ve never steered me wrong before! They know me by name now. I’m unsure if that’s good or bad.
1-800-FLOWERS - $70 ridiculous bucks, but why not? I was in a great mood even if I didn’t get to use my lesson plans.
Best Buy - $15 iTunes gift card for Secret Santa.
That takes care of Amy and Secret Santa. I’ll get to everyone else sooner or later.
Then my phone rang.

[Incoming Call – Amy]
[Answer]

“Hey how are you feeling?”

“Are you ever going to come visit me?”

“Well yeah but weren’t you resting…”

“Everyone else has come over to visit me and keeps asking about you!”

“Everyone?”

“Even my co-workers!”

“Okay, but…”

“…And now my powers out!”

“Well I can pick you up and bring you to my place but we won’t be alone because I’m putting some other friends up for the night too because they’re out of power…”

“Do you really think I want to deal with that?”

“Uh….I bought you Christmas presents?”

“Don’t bother I’m going to my parents.”

“Can I visit you over there?”

“Obviously you’re just too busy and I’m a big inconvenience once again!”

At this point, she was starting to make sense and all I could think about was how inconvenient it was going to be returning all these gifts. The wrath of the gods wasn’t over yet as school was canceled for the remainder of the week.

Well, this shit is getting old…

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