Red Flags

Life is easier when we learn to recognize Red Flag characteristics about a person. Red Flags are any characteristic someone passively communicates that lets you know what type of person they are. They can be good:

“My family runs a local pest control bussiness.”

“Really? ‘Cause I have a bad ant problem this year… think they could hook me up with a little discount on services rendered?”

“Of course!”

They can also warn you of trouble to follow:

“I was engaged once….”

“I changed my major four times already….”

“I had less than ten hours left to get my last degree, but then I changed majors again.”

The trick is to recognize these Red Flags early so there are no surprises. The trouble with that is sometimes we choose to ignore them.

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It’s challenging juggling newness: new career, new relationships, new romance, and new bills. Somewhere the old responsibilities are included: old family, old bills, old pets, old friends, old hobbies. I was finding it easier to start dropping some of the old responsibilities in favor of the new. After all everything was going great for me and in this new romance, I vowed to be everything I wasn’t in my previous romantic relationship.

“Not every girl with aggressive piercings has ‘daddy-issues’! Hell, even I had pierced nipples a few years ago! Does it look like I have ‘daddy-issues’?”

In my head, I knew exactly how I would have replied in my old relationship.

“Damn, yes. Why else would you do something so stupid if you didn’t want to get back at mommy and daddy?”

I had grown since then. I wasn’t the same immature guy who’d just answer definitively.

“I suppose you have a point, dear. Although piercings aren’t really my thing and… I can’t understand why anyone would want to… well anyway… yeah.”

“I know that isn’t your ‘thing’! That’s why I didn’t get my belly button re-pierced over the weekend!”

“…huh… I thought you didn’t get it re-pierced because you’re friend bailed on you?”

“…that too… but mainly because of you”

“…right…. How about some food? I know an awesome Chinese place near the high school…”

“I hate Asian food. I’ll never eat that crap.”

“… huh… well then…”

“She didn’t bail on me; her boyfriend wouldn’t let her go because he’s an abusive controlling prick. I used to date guys like that, but I wised up!”

“….so you hate all Asian food? Have you tried Tea Café? Nobody hate’s Tea Café.”

“Do you want me to throw up? I don’t want Asian food.”

“….huh”

“My mom lives down that street…”

“Well we should pop in and invite her to come along.”

“No way in hell! She’s insane! We pretty much disown her in my family and do everything possible to keep in touch as little as possible!”

“…she can’t be that bad…”

“You don’t even know!”